


Lucky Thirteen

by quietlyintoemptyspaces



Category: Star Trek
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 00:26:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietlyintoemptyspaces/pseuds/quietlyintoemptyspaces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twelve times James Kirk had sex, and another time he had it again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lucky Thirteen

I  
His first crush had been named Sarah, and despite being two years apart, he had wanted her to be his first. Unfortunately, her brother didn’t like that idea too much. It took a few drinks to get him to loosen up, but by then Jim wasn’t a virgin anymore.

Her brother still didn’t like him, even years later when they had to work together… not that it stopped Jim.

II  
It was an awkward kind of apology that wasn’t really an apology. It ended in sex, so Jim didn’t think it was that bad. Come to find out, Cupcake’s real name is Gipetto or Giotto – something like that – and he’s head of security.

To borrow Spock’s word… fascinating.

III  
With Scotty, there had been a lot of booze, and maybe a console or two. It was all rather blurry in the aftermath, but that’s what he got when he combined liquor and strip checker.

IV  
He didn’t know what species Keenser was, but he was pretty damn kinky, whatever species he may or may not have been. As it turns out, sex with Keenser is pretty simple.

Right after Jim passes his opened bottle around to the little alien, Keenser quivers and walks away calmly.

“Possibly the best sex he’s ever had,” Scotty tells him later. “Savin’ for me o’course!”

V  
Nurse Chapel looks good in a nurse’s uniform, but even better in a large white doctor’s coat which she just earned. Jim decides to celebrate with her, simultaneously showing his thanks for saving his life.

When they’re finished, she smacks him and calls him an idiot. He doesn’t know what she means.

VI  
Jim supposed Spock would be stiffer in bed, but under the influence of chocolate, the half-Vulcan is quite vocal. Flexible, too. He should probably feel guilty about slipping the chocolate into the salad, but the sex is too good. It’s worth it.

VII  
Uhura wasn’t pleased – far from it. So when she said he needed to be taught a lesson, he didn’t think she’d literally bring out the whips and chains. A week later and he still can’t sit right.

VIII  
Bones just gives him a look and jabs a hypo in his neck. No questions, but Jim answers anyway. Evidently, angry lizard men are pretty damn kinky. And very into rough sex against thorny trees.

IX  
It was strange how he’d never realized how hot he was when he was beaten and bloody with torn clothes. It may have been an alternate version of himself, but he was damn sexy.

If the altercation ended in sex… well, he had no complaints.

X  
Riley was an interesting fellow, if a bit full of Irish pride. Pretty, too. When he decided to take over engineering, he sang Irish songs over the comm. Kirk went in after him.

A week later, the bridge found it hilarious how instead of “Danny Boy” or “Kathleen”, Riley started singing “Jimmy Boy.” The captain was flattered, if slightly pink at the lyrics used.

Let it never be said that the Irish weren’t creative bastards.

XI  
Janice Rand was a new yeoman, skittish as hell but with a hidden bite that made Jim grin. She actually didn’t want his sex, which he didn’t understand. He talked her into it, once, but she wasn’t impressed.

XII  
The people on Malarkie IV were very…strange, Jim decided. They were friendly enough, no doubt. That one girl had actually walked right up to him and demanded sex – who was he to turn her away?

Unfortunately, they were very virtual. By sex, evidently she had meant a video game played through sensory input. There was no actual touching.

XIII  
Jim yawned, stretched, hit flesh that wasn’t his. It was dark, he couldn’t see, so he did the logical thing: he poked, prodded, and pinched… only to be smacked in the back of the skull.

“Goddamnit, Jim, that hurts,” muttered Bones half-asleep.

“What are you doing in my bed?” Stupid question, but it had to be asked.

“Trying to sleep,” Bones said into the pillow.

There was a moment of silence, then, “Are you naked?”

“Go to sleep, Jim, you’ll remember in the morning.”

“Was I good? Were you?”

Bones sighed. He wasn’t getting any sleep this way, so he rolled over and glared into the darkness where he presumed Jim’s face to be.

“This isn’t the first time it’s happened Jim, so don’t act like it is.”

“Did you drug me, because I can’t remember… can we have a repeat performance?”

Bones rolled his eyes. Happened every time. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” But he did it anyway, if only for Jim.


End file.
